i'm not gonna lie. play me!

lately the tone of my blog has been sad and blah.
so to change it up, let's focus on a couple of positives!

i'm not gonna lie, work is going spectacularly right now! i've been blessed with great opportunities without asking for it. i have colleagues and management that appreciate my work and acknowledge the fabulous work i do! i'll be staying with my company for at least another 8 months with a little more money handed to me on a silver platter plus i have the possibility of starting a permanent new role.

thank goodness at least i have work going for me.

i'm not gonna lie, i'm currently in the best physical shape i have ever been in my life (especially at my tender old age). the next dude that gets to sleep with me is in for a treat! hehe. 

at least i'm happy with my body. haha.

so i don't know about you, but music (and beer LOL) is my saviour! therefore, i wanted to share some music i love. enjoy!

currently on repeat. can't wait for the official video to be released!

wicked-ass Adele mash-up on Glee. 

by far 1 of the best & the choreography rocks-ass too!

plus i personally relate to these songs.

one of my faves for life

here's one to put you in the Vegas mood. let's go soon Leeshi!

HAPPY ALMOST HUMP DAY EVERYONE! 

Hope you're doing well! :)

sincere deceit

some days are easier than others, but not today. today, i'm filled with some overwhelming emotion that i can't quite pin point. it's a combination of love, hate, sadness, confusion and bitterness... how can that be healthy for anyone? it's definitely not healthy for me, but it's often a feeling as of late. i'm not fighting it today.

it's one of those days where all I want to do is workout, not eat, drink & smoke. fortunately for me, my body is strong & can handle the abuse.

i imagine the day where walking by him doesn't phase me, where simple things don't force me to think of him, where random email interaction means nothing to me...

i try to focus on my happy things to break free of this rut but i'm without success. it's too difficult when there are the slightest reminders of him that consume my mind & my heart.

and in reality, being with him is part of my happy list.

after so many depressing entries, you're probably thinking i'm pathetic and my problems are miniscule. but this is how i feel and there's no denying it. this is my battle i live right now. you have yours. i have mine. no one's life is any more important than the next.

let me deal with it in my time and in my way. and one day, i'll be okay.