a little rough around the edges: 2011

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

i'm not gonna lie. play me!

lately the tone of my blog has been sad and blah.
so to change it up, let's focus on a couple of positives!

i'm not gonna lie, work is going spectacularly right now! i've been blessed with great opportunities without asking for it. i have colleagues and management that appreciate my work and acknowledge the fabulous work i do! i'll be staying with my company for at least another 8 months with a little more money handed to me on a silver platter plus i have the possibility of starting a permanent new role.

thank goodness at least i have work going for me.

i'm not gonna lie, i'm currently in the best physical shape i have ever been in my life (especially at my tender old age). the next dude that gets to sleep with me is in for a treat! hehe.

at least i'm happy with my body. haha.

so i don't know about you, but music (and beer LOL) is my saviour! therefore, i wanted to share some music i love. enjoy!

currently on repeat. can't wait for the official video to be released!

wicked-ass Adele mash-up on Glee.

by far 1 of the best & the choreography rocks-ass too!

plus i personally relate to these songs.

one of my faves for life

here's one to put you in the Vegas mood. let's go soon Leeshi!

HAPPY ALMOST HUMP DAY EVERYONE!

Hope you're doing well! :)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

sincere deceit

some days are easier than others, but not today. today, i'm filled with some overwhelming emotion that i can't quite pin point. it's a combination of love, hate, sadness, confusion and bitterness... how can that be healthy for anyone? it's definitely not healthy for me, but it's often a feeling as of late. i'm not fighting it today.

it's one of those days where all I want to do is workout, not eat, drink & smoke. fortunately for me, my body is strong & can handle the abuse.

i imagine the day where walking by him doesn't phase me, where simple things don't force me to think of him, where random email interaction means nothing to me...

i try to focus on my happy things to break free of this rut but i'm without success. it's too difficult when there are the slightest reminders of him that consume my mind & my heart.

and in reality, being with him is part of my happy list.

after so many depressing entries, you're probably thinking i'm pathetic and my problems are miniscule. but this is how i feel and there's no denying it. this is my battle i live right now. you have yours. i have mine. no one's life is any more important than the next.

let me deal with it in my time and in my way. and one day, i'll be okay.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

the randomness in my head...

it was confirmed today that muffs (aka crazy, obsessive girl at work) was the one who started the rumor that 26er and i were secretly dating. granted it was true, but if she really believed that, i seriously believe i would be dead by now... by her! conclusion: she did not believe her own rumor, but unfortunately some people at work did believe her.

i am reliving the same hell i suffered in 2010 in 2011 with the exception of everything happening a few months later and in scrambled order. 2010's hell = broken heart, rear-ended car accident drama to deal with, mid-life crisis freakout then an even more broken heart. This year's hell = mid-life crisis freakout, broken heart, an even more broken heart, rear-ended car accident drama to deal with.

living hell is the best diet!

i'm so feeling the new Drake album - Take Care (Deluxe Version). the whole album has been on repeat since i owned it on Saturday. Take Care and the bonus track are my jams!

i still have no idea why 26er thinks i "stooped low"...
it's unbelievably painful knowing there's no way i can fix this...
we're not even real acquaintances...
the interaction i have with strangers i pass by are friendlier...

i need a continuous reminder to keep revisiting my happy list!
1. Traveling
2. Imported delicious snacks that no one has heard of
3. three pints of beer on an empty tummy
4. Body Jam (good life cardio all types of dance workout)
5. Organizing an event where everyone is having the time of their lives
6. Knowing that a guy has a perma-smile on his face because of me

2012, I AM READY FOR YOU! but do i really need to live through all the holiday festive crap leading up to your birth????

<via>

Saturday, October 15, 2011

bad versus evil

a while back i wrote this post which summarized my strong feelings for my last 2 exes. my hate for one and my love for another. fast forward to now... that's so not the case anymore.

i know a few months ago i expressed so much hate for 26er. but in the summer, i decided to eliminate hate from my life. frankly, hate takes too much energy and how could i possibly hate someone i used to feel very strongly for? so with that lesson, i decided to no longer resist and we became friends again.

... and i fell for him ~~again~~. this time for real because "the dude" was no longer in my heart.

without giving you the details, 26er broke my heart last month and last Sunday, he broke me as a person. though the reason is unknown to me, he concluded i was a nasty person and said horrible things to me. never again does he want to speak to me. so now the tables are turned. karma never did like me.

if you only knew all that went down on Sunday, you would encourage me to hate him forever. but like i said, i eliminated hate out of my life. so no, i do not hate 26er even after all the cruel things he said to me. instead, i'm currently accepting his passionate disgust for me because i know somewhere in there, he is still a good person. he may not ever want anything to do with me again, but my heart can't deny how i truly feel for him.

the only thing i can do without doing anything at all is accept his stance on me and accept my stance on him. and so i do.

<via>

Saturday, October 1, 2011

something sad. something happy.

i know. i know. i know i've been MIA. and even after this post, i'll probably be MIA again for quite some time. i'm really not in the mood to be social even if it's only online. the only thing i crave to do is GET DRUNK with friends that don't know me well, acquaintances or new friends.

i apologize to my good friends... i don't want to see you or really talk to you right now.

anyway, on that pathetic note, i thought i'd brighten the mood with some pics from my NYC trip in early September. it's the last time i recall being truly happy. it was my best NYC trip ever!

Cris, Iris, Bari and Shauna, thank you for making every NYC moment so memorable! LOVE YOU!

1st night - the 3 of us

times square

m&m stop

at the W lounge

fun in Central Park

bicycle carriage ride back to Times Square

lady #4 has arrived

Yankees vs Jays

lady #5 has joined in time for the ball game

NYC pizza

enjoying the lovely weather at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Shearwater sailing

poppin bottles on the boat

i get motion sickness easily

photo bombers alert!

the 5 of us

ground zero

we're ready for Webster Hall

Webster Hall entertainment

on our way to Empire State Building

the best meal from our trip is found here - Mulberry Project

on Mulberry Project's patio

Bari & I don't get tired. at Triple Crown, the local bar w/ our new friends

jumpin for joy on the Brooklyn Bridge

West Indian Festival

my fave donut lives here, but they were closed

but at least i stopped by at my fave grocery store

last night at the best patio in town! + it's heated during the winter

patio view of the ESB

fabulous cocktails

they also hand out robes when it gets chilly

i heart NYC! please help me find a guy to marry there! LOL!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Vegas SHOTS!

thank goodness it's the weekend! life's been crazy busy, but not as crazy as Vegas baby! here are some rated PG photos from our wicked trip for you to enjoy!

definitely.one of my best.birthdays. EVER!

thank you to the lovely ladies who made AS2011 one of the best trips and memorable bdays for life!
Leesh - Kat - Steph - Reni - Elisse

love you all!