i know a few months ago i expressed so much hate for 26er. but in the summer, i decided to eliminate hate from my life. frankly, hate takes too much energy and how could i possibly hate someone i used to feel very strongly for? so with that lesson, i decided to no longer resist and we became friends again.
... and i fell for him
without giving you the details, 26er broke my heart last month and last Sunday, he broke me as a person. though the reason is unknown to me, he concluded i was a nasty person and said horrible things to me. never again does he want to speak to me. so now the tables are turned. karma never did like me.
if you only knew all that went down on Sunday, you would encourage me to hate him forever. but like i said, i eliminated hate out of my life. so no, i do not hate 26er even after all the cruel things he said to me. instead, i'm currently accepting his passionate disgust for me because i know somewhere in there, he is still a good person. he may not ever want anything to do with me again, but my heart can't deny how i truly feel for him.
the only thing i can do without doing anything at all is accept his stance on me and accept my stance on him. and so i do.
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6 comments:
what he says/thinks doesn't hold any weight if he hasn't told you what exactly it is that you did to treat you like that.
i'll be honest and say that if he hasn't told you yet, he's totally pulling a cop-out move and is being a coward. if you did something wrong, he should have the guts to talk to you about it.
if not, then perhaps it is better that you move on because you don't want to be with someone who can't be in a real relationship.
good for you for eliminating negativity from your life; it's too much of an energy-drainer!
i agree with kat, but i am happy that you are learning to put hate aside and accept that sometimes, people are just assholes, (maybe i'm bitter about the 26er saying bad stuff about you but can't really justify what they are), sorry, i mean - people are just different. some we are meant to be in no matter what type of relationship and others, well, just aren't. not even in sight or in mind. xx
I am so confused by all of this. I am not sure what really went down but at least I know who you are talking about when you say that there is someone out there who hates you. I am going to call you this week because maybe we should meet up and you can explain things further to me.
Sorry that you got hurt.
Hey Maur - I actually read this when you first posted this, but to be honest, I wasn't sure how to respond. I'm glad to read that you want to let go of hating sb, but then on the other hand, I don't think it's right to accept someone's ill opinion of you. Yes, accept that he has an opinion, as long as you don't take on that opinion as your own.
Maybe I don't know what's really gone on, so my comment may not make sense. I just read this post and feel terrible for you.
Hope you're doing things that are making you happy these days :) love you!!!
Eliminating hate is a good thing and you should feel proud of yourself for taking the high road. It's hard to forgive a person that did or say something bad to you. Currently, I am hating on a person who said homophobic slurs about another friend of mines. I'm having a really hard time forgiving her. I don't know what to do, but after reading your post...maybe I gotta do the same. maybe I should just let go the hate.
I wish I could take your pain away. I'm sure this is your darkness in the tunnel. Eventually, you will see the light at the end. Just be patient and keep that pretty face up!
Okay first off, I came to your blog to email you because I wanted to tell you that I miss you and your posts...hearing about your life, and learning more about you. SO COME BACK :)
I'm so mad because I have missed this post and the post before it. Stupid blogger.
Maur,
I'm sorry you had to go through this....I can only imagine how hurt you were/are by his words and his actions. Rise above it girl. You want to eliminate the hate and it's easier said than done yes, but it will help you in the long run and you will GROW so much from it. I hope you're hanging in there girl. Remember that you have friends here who love you, support you, and want the best for you. We just want to see you truly happy.
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